Friday, October 14, 2011

Living in Doubt and Fear

I just have a feeling that today is going to be tough.  Please pray for Emily.  She went to bed last night with pain in her lower back and she was experiencing abdominal cramps.  We immediately began thinking about the worst case scenario.  Thinking negatively has become so easy with our delicate situation.  It's very difficult for me as a man, because I'm supposed to be Emily's "knight in shining armor," her champion, her hero.  It is my responsibility to have a solution for all of her problems, right?  Unfortunately, there is no "fix" to this problem, at least not anything within my power.  Instead, I have no choice but to rely on God and have faith in Him that He will do all the fixing.  Although I have a very strong faith, completely surrendering my doubts and broken heart to Him one of the hardest things I have ever done...okay, it IS the hardest thing I have ever done!  This is both a lesson in humility and faith at the same time. 

Emily's and my fears are nearly constant as we continue in our journey to see this pregnancy to full-term.  However, with Caroline's condition, the chances are very high that Emily will go into pre-term labor anytime between now and 5 months from now.  Any pain -- however slight, even if it's a "normal" sensation for most pregnancies -- is cause for fear that we are going to lose our baby girl.  We're walking on pins and needles.    

Our friends and family have been great though.  We have received countless hugs, e-mails, phone calls, texts, FBs, tweets, and cards! 
We even received these flowers the other day!  Emily was on her home from the grocery store when she noticed a UPS truck following her.  When she pulled into the drive way, the UPS truck stopped in front of our house.  As she got out of her car, he met her in the driveway to hand her these flowers from one of our friends!  So cool!!  Please keep the support coming.  God's grace is sufficient!! 

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.


  1. We are continuing the prayers if you need anything we're here we love y'all! Just remember God is good all the time ams he is with you every step of the way-brett-

  2. Thank you, Brett. We hope y'all are doing well. Thank you for lifting us up! Love you.


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