Wednesday, October 19, 2011
In a Funk
I find myself going through the motions at work. As each day passes, I feel more and more like the Peter Gibbon character in the movie, Office Space:
"I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way [they] can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour....I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work."
Generally, I can't read that quote without laughing out loud at the ridiculous nature of the movie and smile (though I do not recommended as a family movie). However, today, this brings me no laughter. In fact, nothing is making me laugh today. I don't feel like smiling, eating, talking, walking, or blogging. I just want to crawl into a corner and come out when this is all over.
Even after "working" a full day, I come home and I'm still tired. Some days, I think it would be nice if I had a remote control for my life and just held the fast forward button for a couple of years. Then, reality slaps me in the face and I realize that the emotional scars are not going to end in a couple of years. This is going to leave a mark on me for the rest of my life. I just feel sorry for my next kid...they are going to be so spoiled rotten!