Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Comedy of Errors

Have you ever had a day when you should have just stayed in bed?

I have.  The last 24 hours have been one of those days.

After I got to work yesterday, Emily called me to say that she failed her glucose test.  Usually, this would not be cause for much alarm.  However, as a dad who is already having daily panic attacks due to my daughter's condition, this escalated into something huge.  I am so worried about Emily having gestational Diabetes.  My Papa and my uncle both have Diabetes.  And my sister-in-law also has Diabetes.  So, I am aware of the complications that result from this medical condition.  And my nerves are already shot.

After getting home from work, Emily and I went to our Grief Counseling appointment to discuss Caroline's Birth Plan.  This is the plan we are writing to communicate to the entire OB-GYN staff, Hospice staff, and counseling staff what our intentions are for Caroline.  In this Plan, we are including information about our preferences for vaginal birth vs. Cesarean-section, comfort support vs. life support, and resuscitation vs. no resuscitation as well as our plans for making memories with plaster molds, photographers, videographers, etc.  We have our rough draft written and have labored over these decisions for several weeks now.  We both feel prepared for this stage.  As you can imagine, we are still very emotional when talking about these things.  So, about 15 minutes into our meeting, I was already emotional exhausted.  And then....the conversation shifted to our Death Plan.  This I was not prepared to discuss.  Talking about these decisions caught me so off guard that I completely shut down.  Evidently, it was very obvious as both counselors said something about it.  Hmmm...I guess I can't refute that one!  But yes...my heart was overburdened and my head could not process anything more.  When we got home, it was about 7 o'clock.  I skipped dinner and went straight to bed.  I thought, "when I wake up, today will be over and tomorrow will be much better!"

I was so wrong!!  I have recently begun meeting a wise and trusted friend every Tuesday morning at 6 a.m.  I am usually very excited about these meetings and look forward to them very much.  But after an evening like I had, I wasn't exactly crazy about waking up before 5 a.m.!

My day started out by oversleeping.  So, I rushed through my breakfast and shower, already frazzled for a second day in a row.  (It's silly to me when I realize that something as small as waking up late changes my entire outlook these days.  But this is my new "normal" as I know it.)

As I was rushing out of the door, I realized that I could not find my keys.  I looked all over the house and still could not find them.  Yeah...great way to start my morning.

On my way out of the house, I tipped over my coffee mug, spilling some of my precious morning gold....not good!

Then, I got to my truck and I tried to open my frozen shut truck doors.  My hand slipped off of the door handle.  This sudden motion caused me to drop my iPhone onto the driveway.  Sweet!

Then, I realized I forgot my wallet.  Can this day get any better?!?

Finally, I got on the road and made it to Panera safely....only to realize that I forgot my iPhone in the driveway!!  Ha!  Wow.

So, after a great visit with a great friend, I drove back home to pick up my iPhone....only to discover that I had managed to drive over it with my truck that weighs 5, 600 lbs.  I can still make phone calls on it....but....that's about it.

I got to work 30 minutes late.

Through all of this, God has given me the strength to go on.  James 1:2-3 says, "the testing of your faith develops perseverance."  I already consider myself to be pretty strong in the perseverance department...so, my question is, "Lord, what are you preparing me for next?"  This scares me.  At least I'm still alive to laugh at my blunders, right?

1 comment:

  1. I'm not laughing at you, but with you. I've had some of those days myself. They seem to snowball, like something out of the movies. I've missed you. You have been quiet. Having sons myself, quiet isn't always good. Seems like you've had alot on your mind this past week. Read Emily's blog last nite. I too wonder why this is happening to you guys. I have a problem with suffering, especially when children are involved. Been reading Psalm 73. Lot of good verses and inspiration. If your conclusions are not biblical, there is little hope that you will respond biblically to the situations in which God has placed you. Eternity is the only way to make sense of the here and now. It is supremely practical. Psalm 73:23-28 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your coinsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. You can read the rest for yourself. You and Emily are doing all the right things. Every day, even at my age, I have to redirect my eyes on Jesus. Think I would have learned by now. I love children and young people and am amazed at how much I learn from them day to day. I thank my God for you.


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