Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I’m alive, even though a part of me has died!

Emily and I spent a relaxing day at the spa and eating a nice meal in St. Michaels, Maryland.  We thought it was a good idea to get out of the house and treat ourselves to a special day.  We felt so relaxed (and stuffed)!  It was very nice.  I definitely did not want to leave the spa!  Haha.

When we got home though, all I wanted to do was go to sleep.  But I couldn't.  I probably stayed awake for about an hour while lying in bed.  I tried wrapping myself in a prayer blanket.  I tried holding my cat, pretending he was Caroline.  I even tried holding a stupid stuffed animal.  None of it worked.  The only thing that brought me peace was praying myself to sleep.

And this morning....all I can say is thank God for amazing music!  The lyrics from Mercy Me's latest song, "The Hurt and the Healer" got me to work.  Here it is:

 "The Hurt & The Healer"

Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn’t come from the explained
Jesus please don’t let this go in vain
You’re all I have
All that remains

So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

Breathe
Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all the scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say “It’s over now”

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide [x2]

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here

2 comments:

  1. May god bless our daughters. Our angel, Caroline Grace, was born on 2/24/12 with anencephy as well. The heart ache, the love, the energy is so amazing.

    From one father to another, thanks for sharing.
    Nate

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nate,
      Thank you for sharing. Yes...God has and will continue to bless our daughters! And us :)

      Delete

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