God is good.
Evidently, the military changed the laws regarding stillborn children and their life insurance policy. As long as your child weighs 350 grams and is born after 20 weeks, you are allowed a life insurance policy.
I never thought I would ever have to file for life insurance for one of my children. But I am thankful that it is there now that we need it.
Sigh....this part sucks.
(I feel bad for saying "God is good" and "this part sucks" at the same time. But this is how I really feel...just a mixed bag of all kinds of emotions right now.)
I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrases "Death Certificate" or "Time of Death" or "Deceased"...I'm sure there are others, but these are the most often used. Why is it that each phrase sounds like a nail being pounded into my heart?? Ugh...can't we use better words?! Why can't people say "paperwork" or "time that she passed away"?! Everything has to be so clerical, stiff, and void of emotion. Well, I am NOT void of emotion! It is days like this that I wish I COULD BE void of emotion.
So, like many days like today, I go to a song for help!
"Homesick" by Mercy Me
"You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
'Cause I'm still here so far away from home
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again
And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now"
Still praying for you guys!!! My sister went through this samething in 2007 and it was very diffcult for everyone to keep faith at that time!! Your story has been so inspiring to me and has really made me stop and realize how very blessed i am and also made me find my way back to god! I thought this precious couple just lost their child and still have faith,so why am i worried about the small stuff!! With that being said i just wanted to say thank you, emily,and precious caroline for showing me the way back to God!!!
ReplyDeleteCassie Austin
Hang in there Cameron. One day at a time. Something my Grandmother use to tell me when things were going wrong. It never made sense to me until I got older. In your case, I'm telling you one minute at a time. Hang on to our Lord minute by minute. He is there to comfort you. I know how hard things are for you guys. Covering you in prayer right now. Linda
ReplyDelete